Opinion: Chuck Norris is so intimidating … he turns millennials into crybabies

Mar 12, 2019 at 07:00 am by clervin

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

Talk about your snowflake millennials, uber-sensitive politically correct wimps with their safe spaces, Play-Doh, coloring books and comfort puppies. The 2016 Trump election, and almost anything challenging their delicate sensibilities sets these crybabies off, but this is my favorite example yet.

There’s now an allegation that police used an image of Chuck Norris to intimidate a crowd.

That’s right, a mere movie poster from a long-forgotten Chuck Norris movie is allegedly capable of intimidating protesters into docile submission.

A political-science professor, Francis Dupuis-Déri, filed the protest with authorities against nine police officers who were patrolling streets in Quebec City last year when the G7 summit was held.

“The complaint includes a video of a protest held June 8 in which a photo of Chuck Norris carrying a rifle in each hand can be seen attached to the door of a police van used to transport an arrested demonstrator,” the report said.

Dupuis-Déri said he thinks police used the image “to intimidate protesters and, in doing so, diminished the public’s trust.”

“I thought that was in really bad taste and that it was a form of intimidation and threat from the police toward the public and the protesters,” the professor said.

He alleged the photo was from a poster of the movie “Invasion U.S.A.” in which Norris plays the role of a man “pitted against communists from Cuba during the Cold War.”

“My complaint is really about this specific case and these specific police officers who were in the minivan,” the professor complained.

The legendary actor and martial artist somehow turned 79 years old on Sunday, but still seems like he could be 30 years younger. However, part of Norris’ fame rests with the bigger-than-life stories of his physical accomplishments, the infamous Chuck Norris jokes.

Norris has said some of his favorite internet “facts” include:

• “When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.”
• “Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.”
• “Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.”
• I also like, “Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, The knife lost.”

Finally, “Chuck Norris is so intimidating, even a life-sized photo of Chuck Norris propped up in a window is better at keeping crooks away than a burglar alarm- This shop is under the protection of Chuck Norris.”

Considering the professor’s accusation based on a Chuck Norris movie poster, maybe this one isn’t just a joke after all.

“There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live.”

As the Vince Vaughn character Peter Lafleur so brilliantly declared in that cinematic masterpiece “Dodgeball,” “Thank you, Chuck Norris!”


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