Parenting Styles: At the Zoo

Sep 17, 2018 at 10:01 am by Paulette Jackson


We’re goin’ to the zoo, zoo, zoo

How about you, you, you?’
You can go, too, too, too
We can stay all day!
                            ~Peter, Paul and Mary

Without a doubt, being a parent is the best and most demanding job I have been privileged to have. When my children came along, I took ownership of the Motherhood role with gusto. Although, as much as I loved being a young mom, I still made mistakes – all of which I wish I could do over. There were also moments when, based on observation, it was difficult to determine who the parent was. I wish a do-over was possible there, too.

For the most part, though, my parenting was consistent, reflecting the values common to my circle of parenting friends. We all desired to raise happy, healthy children, to be happy, healthy adults and be responsible members of society.

Raising children today, while still one of the most rewarding jobs, also remains one of the toughest. And finding available resources, or circles of support with common values for helping us along in our journey, has gotten harder than ever.

In the interest of supporting families, I thought it might be helpful to introduce another circle of friends to provide their perspective on parenting, while also helping us better appreciate our own model of raising children. For that purpose, I believe there could be no better circle of friends than the animals at the zoo.

Taking a trip to the Nashville Zoo is not only a pleasant family outing but also a wonderful educational opportunity regarding parenting styles. While child-rearing methods among humans tend to have familiar interactive patterns, the animal kingdom varies widely in parenting styles.

Depending on the species, the behaviors of some animal counterparts appear quite adaptive from a sociological perspective, validating their parenting methodology. Other behaviors give evidence to the belief we are not evolved beings – because extinction would have swallowed Homo Sapiens long ago if males and females had to maintain the same roles as their animal kingdom counterparts in order to raise families.

 So, just for fun, I thought we could take a look at a few members of the Zoo crew and their gender roles.

The African Elephants are always a favored attraction. Their large bodies, yet gentle ways are an invitation to come closer and get acquainted. The heaviest land animal and the second tallest, males reach a height up to 13 ft., and the more petite female reaches only a height of 9 ft. Even though small by comparison, she is the dominant partner in the couplehood where matriarch defines the social relationship of the species.

The well-being of the herd depends on her determination of meals, bath times, snacks and bedtimes. In fact, she rules with only closely related females to raise the babes. The males don’t “get into it” with the women folk and wander alone in bachelor herds once they reach Loxodonta Africana maturityI believe this may be a similar pattern which has generalized to males in American culture in recent years, where the herding pattern of males, wandering together in the woods, bonding and supporting each other, is now fulfilled in a context called men’s groups. My husband has been a part of one for several years. At least I always know where he is and who he is with.

The Rhinoceros Hornbill is a large bird found in the lowlands and hill forests of Southeast Asia, Java and Borneo. Looking a little like a caricature, they have a large banana-shaped bill extension on top of their beak.

The parenting for Mr. and Mrs. Hornbill could be viewed disparagingly, as far as role description for mom and dad, when it comes to raising the chicks. When nesting, mom is sealed inside a tree hole with mud where she stays put until the chicks are ready to leave. Although unconventional to western minds, being sealed in the mud hole means she gets out of cooking and cleaning. As long as she is in confinement, dad serves her meals through an opening, wherein exchange, she gives him the “dirty diapers” of excrement to dispose of.  Any dads up for that job?

No Zoo is complete without a petting arena, where visitors are offered the opportunity to interact with the very social and playful Nubian Goats. What we initially notice is the effective interpersonal skills training by the parents with their kids. Beginning early, mom and dad teach their offspring that butting heads is a part of life. The kids actively engage in routine head-butting, then, with never any hard feelings they go play or go eat.

Since the Nubians are both playful and social, you might expect a great deal of their socializing to revolve around eating. It does, especially when unsuspecting tourists are fenced in the petting zoo! It is quite common for the goats to sidle up to visitors unaware. Appearing to want to be petted, Mr. and Mrs. Nubian are really modeling serious skills for their kids to learn the art of  “pickpocketing” munchies from this human’s person; be it food, drink, your clothes, your hair, or even the map stashed in your pocket. I taught my children not to take food from strangers, but for these Nubians, perhaps this forging maneuver helps save money on groceries?

Last on the list, but not least is the Damara Zebra, that beautiful animal, much like a horse, always professionally dressed in black and white shadow stripes, which begs the question; “Is that suit white with black stripes, or black with white stripes?” Besides being a thing of beauty, the Zebra possesses excellent hearing and eyesight, is strong, a fast runner and quite a fearsome protector.

Like so many in the animal kingdom, the Zebra enjoys the social scene. They also stay in family groups for life. I have to say though, with one stallion to several mares and their foals, I would personally have difficulty with their value system! However, I do admire their individuality, reflected in their stripe patterns, with no two sets being the same. They remind me, that as humans, we too, are all unique. 

I hope you have enjoyed getting to know a small circle of friends at the zoo, and even feel a sense of camaraderie with them, that when it comes to raising kids, the role of family and community values are a priority for healthy psycho-social development.

As humorist and columnist Erma Bombeck said about the role of the family in culture; “There is this gentler culture that seems to just move along in spite of everything else”. This gentler culture is the family, those moms and dads who are doing everything they can to love and raise happy, healthy children to be happy, healthy adults, and be responsible citizens. A trip to the zoo can help us to see we not alone in that task.

For the Support of Your Life
For the Many Sides of Life
Paulette Jackson