Dear Miss Ellie: 

I am getting married in the next few weeks and there always seems to be some drama with my fiance's side of the family. There is divorce, language, hate, arguments, and some are not invited to the wedding including the biggest troublemaker of them all, his mother. While there are many reasons she has not received an invitation, I just don’t think it is right not to invite your own mother. I need help in getting my fiance to send the invitation to his mother.

Can't choose your In-laws

Dear Can't Choose Your In-laws:

You are correct, choosing your in-laws is not always possible, but these people are going to be part of your family, forever, so please use care and ask yourself if you really want to be a part of a family that seems to not get along. If you still want to marry this young man, and it sounds like you do, I recommend you invite the mother. The reason for this is that I am assuming you are young, meaning she may live a very long time, and inviting her will be much easier than living decades being reminded you didn’t.

If your fiance feels she will cause problems, ask a groomsman or a very dear friend to keep an eye on her. If she starts to cause a stir, remind her gently this is not her day, that it is a very special day for her son and future daughter-in-law. If that does not do the trick, then she must be asked to leave. People who fail to compose themselves properly for an event have no business being there.

Ellie

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